Smiles...so very many smiles!

I'm exhausted today.  Barely three hours of sleep, but it was so worth it!  To be able to chat with him, live, while he's half way around the world was amazing!  He says the most amazing things that make me smile the most amazing smiles.

These smiles get my mind wandering, and i find myself asking the 'what if' questions i've avoided most of my life.  What if he's the one?  What if this is it?  What if this is what I've been waiting for my whole life?  What if soul mates do exist and what if he is mine?  Of course, in the land of 'no one wants to jinx anything', it's tough to fully explore those thoughts, especially given we haven't actually been physically with each other yet.  I need to be patient.  I need to take these next five weeks and seriously prepare for the very real possibility that the answer to all these 'what if' questions juggling around in my head is...yes.

A surprise text rocks me to my core

So, sitting on teh floor, stretching out my old limbs, working on my breath, and a moment away from shutting down all technology to meditate, adn what happens?  A text message whistles from my phone. I open it expecting it to be no big deal.  But it was the biggest deal!  It was a text from him!  It was so unexpected, so surprising and so sweet!  The smile that spread on my face...well, let's just say it's permanently there.

He's stuck in Singapore for a bit, and has a global phone and can text!  And next thing i know he's found me on google+ and now we are instantly chatting.  I'm going to be dead tired tomorrow, that's if I get any sleep at all, but it's worth it.

And he tells me that he dreamt, on the plane, that he's known me before.  that our lives have crossed in other planes and dimensions and times of history.  That it feels as if he's known me forever, and i feel the EXACT same way.  It's not rational...it's not logical...it's 100% emotional, and I'm loving every minute of it!

Enough blogging...back to the google hangout with this amazing man!  Gotta soak him up as much as possible before he heads out on the boat that will silence him from live communication for 5 weeks. :(

It's amazing when a life altering event can give you clarity.  On July 7th, 2013, my mother passed away after a long battle with kidney and heart issues.  I'm an only child to a single mother, and so, as you can imagine, it rocked me to my core.  But it didn't rock me in the way I'd anticipated.  Along with the grief came so much clarity.  Who was I now?  For so long, I'd only been her daughter, as that's all she'd wanted me to be. (Another blog for another time).  So, now that she's gone, who would I be?  Well, the sky was the limit.  And, I realized, what i wanted more than anything in the world was to find my soul mate.  To finally find that person to walk through life with, and I decided to get serious about it.

I live in a very small town in the middle of nowhere Washington State.  It's tough to meet people here, as most of the population is married or divorced, and almost all of them have children.  So, rather than venture out into the ridiculousness that is the bar scene around here, I decided to join eHarmony.  

After two weeks of not a whole lot going on, a man appeared on my match list.  He was good looking.  Age appropriate, and had no children!  His profile was intriguing and exciting, and for the first time since i started, I instigated communication.  He took his time responding, but easily we got through the eHarmony process.

He works an interesting schedule, and is out of the country for five week stints.  And one of those stints was starting, only days after we first spoke.  So, even though we probably moved to the phone faster than eHarmony would have liked, it just felt right.

And then I heard his voice. :)  That sweet, soft, deep voice, with just a hint of a southern accent hit me the moment I heard it.  And it speaks about spirituality, energy, and passion like none I've ever experienced.  At the least i'm intrigued, and the possibilities of what I could be are too vast for me to even utter out loud at this point, so I'll just smile a goofy grin and keep that to myself.

Four days of live conversation on the phone and so many hours I can't even count them, and I feel like he's getting me on a level no one ever has before, and I'm elated and scared all at the same time.  is this real?  is this true?  Could i ACTUALLY get everything I have been asking for?

I don't know the answers to those yet, but I'm super excited for the journey.

He left last night, on a flight to Singapore.  He'll be unreachable for 5 weeks, except for by email.  I can't wait to see what words he sends my way from across the globe.  Missing him already.